Tame Your Thinking: Coping with The Fear of Getting Fired Pt 2
You have asked your employer for an evaluation, and they have reassured you – you’re doing a great job. But you might still worry. After all, it’s radio – the fear of being fired is understandable. Yet how does it serve you?
First of all, none of us know what will happen tonight, or this weekend. There is no way to know the future, so spending time worrying about it is not productive. Be practical about the future, of course (for example, you can continue to network, keep skills up to date, save money, etc.). Beyond that, there are ways to stop the spiraling. Here are a few tools to help:
Play the “and then what?” game. If you get fired, what would happen? And then what? And then what? And then what? Keep going until you realize that the fear of it happening is worse than the reality. It may not be easy, but you will survive. (I love how Randall and Beth, characters in This Is Us, play their worst-case scenario game, bantering back and forth on the worst possible outcome of a situation. Whatever will happen is nothing compared to the horrific scenarios they have imagined.)
Avoid using the word fear unless you’re in imminent danger. Is there a horde or marauding villagers at your door? A tiger on your hiking path? That’s when you should feel the fear. If you’re not in immediate physical danger, there’s no need to trigger your nervous system into fight or flight mode. Use the word assumption rather than fear. That is, you’re making an assumption you’re going to get fired. There is no proof that it will happen. (And you know what happens when you assume…)
And the most powerful tool of all, whenever you have created a story about something, is to challenge the story. Bestselling author Byron Katie asks you four questions to release the hold a story has on you. Those questions are:
Is it true?
Can you be absolutely positive it is true?
How do you feel when you hold that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
If you are struggling with a story, I can help you work Katie’s process to free yourself from your stressful thoughts. It’s life-changing.