Authenticity is a double-edged sword

Every show claims they want to be known as “authentic.” But what does that mean and, honestly, how authentic should you be? 

Authenticity means you have erased the gap between what you think and feel on the inside, and what you share on the outside, like genuine feelings, opinions and ideas. Can’t you feel the difference between a “what you see is what you get” person and someone who you just have a feeling about? Like they are thinking other thoughts than what they are saying out loud? 

Showing vulnerability humanizes you. It makes you more relatable. But, self-deprecation ONLY WORKS if you've already proven your competence. You were impressive before, but now you're relatable too. You have to establish your qualifications before you can be self-deprecating.

If you’re listening to a new show, and they joke about how they have no listeners, you don’t think of them as relatable. In fact, you probably think of them as not long for their job. But Rick Dees, veteran LA radio personality, could joke about his “seven listeners” because he was hugely successful and everyone knew it. 

Safer: Be self-deprecating about things unrelated to your competence, like how you drink too much coffee or you love reality tv. 

And here’s a wrinkle. Sometimes it pays to not be quite as authentic. You don’t live in a bubble. You can have a strong opinion, but there are consequences if you only focus on yourself. Don’t be a narcissist. It’s not likable nor effective.

Safer: Have your opinion... and... don’t be a jerk about it, unless that’s your character. Be curious about opposing views. I forget who said it first: "Be yourself; unless your self is an asshole. Then be someone else." 

This week’s nugget comes from bestselling author, Adam Grant’s Ted Talk, Authenticity Is a Double-Edged Sword.