Authenticity is a Buzzword but what does it mean?

If you don’t know me, you need to know this one thing. I have a voracious appetite for new ideas, and new ways of talking about old ideas. 

This week I listened to a podcast with author, Jessica Zweig, about her new book, Be: A No BS  Guide to Increasing Your Self-Worth and Your Net Worth Simply By Being Yourself, and was struck, in particular, by what Zweig had to say about authenticity and vulnerability. 

If you’re a personality, or coach personalities, I bet one of the goals for your show is to be “authentic.” And in Christian radio, there has been recently an even greater emphasis for talent to be honest, transparent and vulnerable. 

You might have a funny story about a spat with your partner or an embarrassing moment with your kids. But what happens when something deep happens? When and how should you address personal situations like divorce, for example, or revealing a health crisis?

Take this in, from Zweig’s interview: 

The internet [and airwaves] aren’t for you to process your feelings. People don’t necessarily care about your heartbreak or that you’re struggling to pay your rent. They care about what you have learned that can help them go through the same thing. And if you’re in it, it’s hard to see the lesson, the wisdom, the silver lining. 

You’re not doing it [sharing] to feel less alone. You’re doing it to make other people feel less alone. 

Read that last part again...

I heard one show player confess on the air that she had an eating disorder. She was sobbing, clearly in the middle of a crisis, and her cohosts were caught trying to comfort her live on the air. Listeners called to make her feel better. On the other end of the spectrum, one morning show host waited two years to tell his audience he had gotten divorced. He just wasn’t ready. His wife and family weren’t ready. Had he opened up any sooner, he would have been too raw and it would have been about him, not his audience.

If you have something difficult to share, do your  work at processing what happened first. Talk to a trusted friend, a pastor or therapist, until you gain the distance and perspective you need. Take your time. I like to think of it as you revealing your scar, not the wound. 

This is not to say that the story itself won’t be emotional or raw. Good storytelling will ensure that the emotion is still there. 

You don’t want the listeners to feel like they have to console and take care of YOU. They want to know that you are OK. They already have enough to worry about.